The Hot Italian Sausage: Single Newly Vegan Chick Dilemma

This is just a quick memo to some single vegan ladies out there. If you come across the non-vegan, meat loving, cheap skate type with lots of arrogance on the side, think twice before giving out any chances.

As you’re sitting around, you know drinking wine, maybe smoking a little green, laughing and talking, do NOT be fooled; he will initially insist that the black bean pasta is just too below par, but once he’s hungry with the munchies, he will savagely eat the only vegan food you brought over for yourself. Then, the charming prince he is, he will invite you into his kitchen. He will pull out a promising food container and show you a dish not unlike the one he just ravished. He will tell you that since he knew you were coming, he cooked all vegan… just for you! Just for me!?

He will put the bite sized vegan sausage on a fork and feed it straight into your trusting mouth. Then, he’ll smirk, and just when you thought shit was at the pinnacle of being romantic, he will tell you, “oh, yeah, that was pork.”

Ladies… what would you do? And most importantly, stay away from the aforementioned type. After all, a woman should be able to control what she wants in her mouth. 

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